LAWAK AYAM by Kentaki Fred Kicthen

QUESTION - Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competences required for the newly competitive market. Andersen, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

COMPUTER PROGRAMMER:
In order for the chicken to cross the road safely they not only need one driver to access the server farm if not they will hang in the middle of the road.

JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook.

MAHATHIR:
You know, I am tired of all this...'apa-nama' chicken-chicken bisnes...the foreign powers should stop intervening in our domestic
affairs and just leave our chickens alone.... if they want to... 'apa nama'cross the road, they should be allowed to cross the road...
Malaysia is a democratic country, we let our chickens do whatever they want to do... as long as they don't threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the government...and if they plan to do so... we won't hesitate to use the ISA...

ABDULLAH BADAWI:
Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan percaya khabar - khabar angin ini semua... biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam-ayam semua... jangan percaya... jangan percaya....

SAMY VELLU
ayyooyoo... belakang cerita lain kali, kita sude bikin banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna jembatan untu lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu itu ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan, beritau sama saya juga, saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll........

KARAM SINGH VALIA:
Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan ayam-ayam itu sedang melintas jalan, mereka bukan sahaja melintas jalan malah membuang najis di atas jalan dan ini adalah pencemaran Yang paling hebat di maya pada ini. Bapa-bapa dan ibu-ibu ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk melatih ayam-ayam agar menahan najis sewaktu melintas jalan, sekian saya sudahi dengan.........

Ayam di jalan di lintaskan
Ayam di reban mati tak makan

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

BILL CLINTON :
I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...

AYAM, KAMBING & BAG From ZFMF54

Samy Vellu was visiting India when he fell and broke his jaw and was unable to speak. Being the great leader that he was, he continued his grand tour.

On the last week of his visit, the RTM crew was present for his press conference. Although unable to speak, Samy insisted on sending a message home to his Cabinet colleagues.

Samy caught a chicken and showed it to camera. He next took a goat, and showed it to the camera. Finally he took a bag and displayed in front of the camera.

Dr Ling was the first to see the video clips. He said : "Samy is telling us that India has insufficient food because he showed us chicken and goat, and he wants Malaysia to donate bags of rice."

DET watched silently then said: "No lah!...what Samy trying to say is HE IS COMING BACK!!!

The whole Cabinet was puzzled and look to the old man for anexplanation. DET reasoned: "AYAM KAMBING BAG!!!" ("i am coming back!!!" in Indian accent)